The Four Steps to Change are designed to give you a strategy within the experience that you are having. It does no good to blindly struggle without awareness. Rather than wrestling in a half-dream, gently wake yourself to reasonable action.
Step 1: OBSERVE: Don't be in a mad rush to change anything, simply observe yourself and your circumstances. In order to effectively change we must first see what needs changing.
Step 2: ACCEPT: Remember, you can't change anything until you accept what is: see it objectively, as though you are a stranger observing through a window. Don't judge, just accept.
Step 3: ALLOW: Let yourself be yourself without judgment or fear. There is always a positive reason that we are doing anything that we are doing. Try to find the positive reason instead of focusing on the negative outcome.
Step 4: RESPOND: Having re-assessed your true goal, now start to take small achievable steps toward achieving it. The moment you take one effective step toward your real goal, you immediately feel empowered and back on track. You do not have to achieve to feel better, only to be on the proper path.